12.29
What a year. Those three words include so much. There is so much that the year 2008 has involved. So many bad and hurtful circumstances. Arguments and yelling, discord between fellow believers, physical and mental anguish, and all things in-between. Many people that have either been close to me or people I know have passed away, more than I’ve ever experienced. I’ve gotten the suit coat and nice pants out of the closet enough times for another decade. This film is going to hit home when its watched by people locally for more than one reason. There being so much death to deal with before and during the shooting of this film only showed us even more that God wanted us to make a movie about death. Hard times on-set of the movie, and stupid piddley things that mean nothing but at that time seemed to mean everything. Yet, through all of it, so much good has come. So many Blessings, so much to be thankful for, and so much happiness and memories, none of which will leave me anytime soon.
There is so much to this past year besides the film, but the film seemed to overtake the rest. The last 6 months especially, mid-summer being the worst of it all. So many things gone wrong, lots of different jobs to do, uncertainty of success and everyone around me asking “what’s next,” when at times I honestly didn’t know. All I had was a story idea, a good idea of what needed to be done to make that idea a reality, and my Lord. The last of those three being the key element and the one that made everything else work.
Why am I writing this anyways? I found myself sitting here at my computer late at night, thinking over this past year and all the things that have happened. I began to cry, sob being the better term. I mean how could you not? I wasn’t crying because of all the bad that had happened or how hard the year was. I was crying because in spite of all of it, here I was, with a film in Post-Production and all sorts of Blessing surrounding it, with a family and a home, a job and a paycheck, and friends and people that care for me. I deserve nothing, I am complete and utter garbage when measured up to the one who deserves it all. I have salvation through Jesus but honestly I never deserved that even, it was free. So on top of something like that I get all this? Good is a sick understatement to the God we serve. Here are all these things I shouldn’t have, and it made me weep. How GOOD is our Lord? How WORTHY is He? How MERCIFUL and FAITHFUL! I feel like all I did was put my seatbelt on and Jesus hit the gas pedal.
What an amazing feeling. That’s just the film, I’m not even talking about the personal things he has done. I’ve learned many things this year. No matter how bad things get, He’s right here where He’s always been…waiting for His children to come to Him so He can give them comfort. How can that not move you to tears? When you really get it, you really understand how much you DON’T DESERVE what you have, and the eternal damnation that SHOULD await you, and yet that’s the very thing that DOESN’T when your God’s child…phew. That motivates me to give God all I have and leave the results in His hands.
Do I know what will happen with this film? Nope. Do I know God does? Yep. His hand has been faithfully pushing my often lazy, unfaithful, wretched excuse for a life down the track, herding me towards the finish line. That sounds harsh but I really hope I never loose sight of what I am now and what I would probably be without Jesus. I need to constantly remind myself what I am in His sight without His Sons forgiveness. I hope regardless of whatever the film does for all of you out there who watch it (assuming God finds us distribution, and if not I’ll Praise Him anyways), that the story behind the making of this film would motivate and move you to do whatever God has called you to do. I don’t care what it is, find out and run with it. God has a purpose for each and every one of you. Find it, and go.
I hope this has message has been a Blessing to you all, and that it gives you a new perspective for 2009.
Ephesians 3:20-2: “Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.”
God Bless & Happy New Year to all of you,
Kyle Prohaska
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